San Francisco Chronicle: On Wednesday afternoon, sheriff's deputies went to a house in Castro Valley, California for a "probation compliance" check.  And they found that, no, 32-year-old Assif Mayar was NOT complying with his probation.

Inside the house, police found 34 pounds of dried, processed marijuana.  But they couldn't get to it right away, because it was inside a Plexiglas tank . . . being guarded by an ALLIGATOR.

The alligator was FIVE FEET long.  Assif told the cops the gator's name is Mr. Teeth . . . and Assif bought him in 1996, quote, "to commemorate the death of TUPAC SHAKUR."

We're not exactly sure how buying a marijuana-guarding alligator and naming him Mr. Teeth honors Tupac. But I guess we all grieved for Tupac differently.

Assif was arrested for possessing marijuana for sale.  Mr. Teeth was taken to the Oakland Zoo where he's being treated for some serious health problems.